I only had one comment from people dropping by. Thank you for the feedback +Arthur. I added the punctuation and wouldn’t mind your feedback on it’s current placing. I also took into consideration the feedback from Janet. She suggested that the last two stanzas are a separate theme on a similar subject; so I excised them from the poem. I then read the poem to my wife, who feels there is more to say, and that the poem dwells too much on some aspects and not enough on others. I had originally removed the hanging similar items lines and then put them down at the bottom so as to flesh out the poem. Unfortunately the poem feels incomplete to me now. I will look at this poem again after a day or two and hopefully more feedback.
Thanks to everyone who have helped so far, and I look forward to your ideas and opinions.
BTW – when I do these discussion posts I like to have a photo and a link to another poem or site. For inspiration here is a photo of some laundry. And the link… well do I have to explain this?
|Some laundry. Sourced from Mumzine.com|