Flannel Likes Your Grandma

A wonderfully descriptive and very witty poem by Elan Mudrow.

Elan Mudrow


Comforters are insecure

Blankets hide in between secrets

Muffling the truth of the matter

Pillows make lewd suggestions

To any side of the head

That happens to take an interest

Sheets are cold at first

Until they warm up to you

King, Queen, Full, and Twin

Are an incestuous family

Linen loses it around bedtime

Bedspreads are nice at night

A ruckus in the morning

Throws miss the spot

Quilts always get confused

About life’s bits and pieces

Coverlets and Duvets argue

Endlessly about standing alone

Memory Foam never forgets

a shapely ass and a good boob job

Thread Counts weave tall tales

Down begins all fluffy and nice

Then becomes one big prick

Flannel likes your grandma


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