Poem: The Three Little Pigs

(With a nod for poetic style to Ogden Nash, you know – forget the metre, rhyme at all costs)

Here is a tale of three little pigs
And the nasty wolf who thought he was big.
Now building houses is old hat
Building web-sites is where its at.

The first little pig made a site of text
A site filled with graphics from the second pig was next
The third made his site with Java and Frames
And they all met on the internet playing 3d games.

The first little pig made a site of text
When the wolf saw this he became quite vexed.
“Your site of words is really boring
I’ve only read the first paragraph and I’m already snoring

So the wolf planted a word hungry worm
And the little pig cried when he saw that worm turn.
“It’s eating my text at an incredible speed”
And the worm gobbled up the site with incredible greed

The wolf chortled and chuckled at the stunt he staged
All that was left was a plain blank page
Having had his fun with the first pig’s site
The wolf visited the second that very night.

The first pig warned his brother about the wolf’s display
So they secured the server to keep the wolf away
But the wolf was a crafty guy, and hacking was his fore
He disguised his log-in and got in through a back door.

“This site,” he said “has some pretty scenes,
I’ll replace them all with visions obscene.
He spray painted the backgrounds with naked chicks
He made the site look like a pornographic flick

The second little pig cried out with shock
“I’ve become a laughing stock
I’ve got to pull the plug on my site”
The wolf laughed out loud and said “All Right!”

The third little pig saw the wolf’s selfish behaviour
“Come to me, brother pigs, I’ll be your saviour”
The third pig’s site was on a system hard to crash
With password protection and it now had FLASH.
The wolf said “I’ll fix that third pig jerk!”
But was taken aback when his log-in didn’t work!
“Little Pig, Little Pig, Let me log-in”
“Not by the disks of my IBM”

The wolf tried to think of that secret combination
But he was forbidden to enter much to his consternation.
“I’ve tried by the front and I’ve tried by the back”
“This third pig’s site is too hard to hack”
But Ill love a challenge – I’ll catch them unawares
I’ll talk to some friends of mine who are into Warez.”

His friends gave him a program that could crack any code
“I’ll soon get through to that site’s node.”
The wolf installed his Warez into his machine
And he was delighted by what appeared on his screen

“I’ve finally made a dent in the third pig’s protection”
But the wolf’s activity did not escape detection
The third pig sprang a trap – a big fire-wall
That would burn the wolf’s computer – cpu and all.

They could hear the wolf yell as his plan (ahem) backfired.
“Your actions, brother pig, were quite inspired.”
And the three little pigs Danced cybernetic jigs
While the wolf had to wait two years for technical support to replace the mother board, hard disk, CD-rom drive, printer, monitor and mouse.
Well that’s what you deserve if you decide to be a louse.

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