I'm a writer of all things. I am a published poet, a performed playwright, a journalist. I write for reviews for Weekend Notes. Articles about fatherhood for NZ Dad.
My poetry can be found on Blognostics, and other internet sites. I have a poetry blog at simonlenthen.wordpress.com My play "Wollemi Warrior Adventure" has been performed in the Blue Mountains and will be performed at Mt Annan Botanic Gardens soon. I also perform in The Goon Show Live as the voice of Harry Secombe. Ying Tong Iddle I Po!
An off-white speckled egg
The shell complete
Heavy in the hand.
The first crack on the bench
The satisfying crunch of shell
Like feeling the marriage cup shatter under-foot
Reminding me of all relationships
Where tough people can be vulnerable;
Where to be resistant to forces from
Sudden piercing emotions
Makes it easier for cracks to grow
I dig at the crack and scatter the
Lightning traces, the fragmentation of the shell.
Some bits drop to the bench
A scattering of off-white lies and half-truths
Shared secrets that bind us together
The soft white cushion
Bounces robustly in the hand
I look for the opaque lining of denial
Around the white surface, roughly
Tug so that the protective shell that has caged the egg
Can be lifted off
bits of egg-white cling to the fragments
Elements of trust and belief that
Permanently attach to the armour
I tear like a hungry animal
Careless in my greed
And end up with an imperfect shape
The egg-white pocked like a moon.
The honey golden glow of yolk
True love’s fertile centre
I devour it to strengthen my love
Like a cannibal absorbing the strength
Of his enemy.
This is a compilation of three stories I told on Facebook’s Dad Jokes Australia Page.
1. Got my son real good. He was talking about his maths exams and how he had not prepared for it. He had to calculate the surface area of a cube. So he guessed the method and was confident he got it right, Next he had to calculate the surface area of a shaded part of a trapezium. I waited until he finished describing the method he used, once again he guessed the method. Then I pounced….
I asked if the trapezium had wings
He said “Dad, don’t you dare complete that thought…”
Of course I ignored him.
“Because that would be a flying trapezium.”
“OMG Dad, that’s terrible.”
But wait, there’s more….
“And since you took a risk on the question” I continued,
“Dad, I swear I will jump out of this car and roll roll roll”
“Would that make you a daring young man on the flying trapezium?”
“Dad you tell worse jokes than any of my friends telling bad jokes.”
Was worth every second.
BTW he passed the test, but did not ace it.
2. My wife, my daughter and I were driving her to school. We were travelling through some bush and that prompted a conversation on bush craft, and how Dad (me) was terrible at bush craft. I said yes, I am terrible at bush craft but your mother was great at it, so great that she new the names of trees. Without thinking my wife said “Yes I do….That’s Fred, the one next to it is John, Just past that is Roger….” Daughter and I cracked up.
3. A great way to annoy your son during a game of Uno. Any time it was his turn to play I said “pick up two, Thomas” ANY TIME. The first and second time he’d stop to look at the cards. After that he got very annoyed and sometimes got quite flustered. The payoff came several times during the evening. I had got the right card and said “Now I can quite legitimately say “pick up two, Thomas” before playing the card. One other family member played the card against me and I got in “Now it’s my turn to pick up Two” But the biggest payoff was the laughs at the constant repetition. Best. Game. Of Uno. Ever
Last Saturday I went with my family to Castle Hill library. It is one of the best librarys in Sydney. There’s a lovely cafe off to one side, easy to read signs on the bookshelves, books sorted by genre and classification (of course), really comfortable seats, and an innovative children’s area with a wooden castle and a great wooden dragon hanging from the ceiling.
While we were there, we met a lovely woman. Wendy chatted with her about back pain and the like. She was going to a meeting. It turns out it was a meeting of the Fellowship of Australian Writers (Hills Chapter) and they were having a one off workshop at the library, which was not their usual meeting place. They invited me to join them for the poetry workshop.
The poetry workshop was hosted by a Canberra poet. Her theme was the use of colour in poetry. One of the exercises was to write a six-line poem using words and colours provided. The colour was in the form of a paint sample sheet, the word was written on a small piece of paper. This was an exciting idea. I received “Arctic Crossing” as a colour, a kind of muted off-white and the word “Cloud”. It was almost too easy. I conjured images of clouds swirling like penguins over a frosted landscape, and hence the poem. I now suddenly realise that the act of penguins swarming like that belongs in the Antarctic and not the Arctic. But I’m not going to change the poem for that. Call it artistic license.